Got home two hours ago from the 12 hour trip to Provo for the funeral. Another emotional day. The service was wonderful; Ken gave a beautiful tribute to Mom and a very nice life sketch. He's an excellent speaker. Then two nieces, Janelle and Kadee, sang a nice song, "I walked today where Jesus walked," I spoke for about 10 minutes on things my mother has taught me; the granddaughters (nearly all of them) sang, "Come Thou Fount," a very sweet song and they did a beautiful job; then Grant gave a talk about the atonement and how the SAvior makes it possible to return to Him and to be together as a family. Carolyn had put together a slide slow of mom's life, to music, which was very nice and people really enjoyed viewing that before the funeral started.
We had a lot of family there, all Mom and Dad's kids; their spouses, and nearly all the Utah grandkids were there, along with mom's sister, brother, and a sister-in-law; and friends also. The room was filled with people she had touched in some way or other.
It was again, a beautiful ceremony, yet so sad too. I'm glad I have no doubt there is life after this and I know I'll see my parents and family members again. That adds so much peace.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Thoughts
It's been two days now, what a whirlwind of activities and emotions. I really don't know if anyone is still reading this, but I'd thought I'd share a few feelings and thoughts.
It's hard to lose your mom. I miss the person she used to be, and the kind person she was on many occasions even after descending into dementia.
We all know she had challenges being blunt and hurtful on occasion. I think it's possible that most of us have been hurt at times over the years. Sometimes I've harbored resentments over these hurts. But as I've really examined her life, and the positive things she's done, I've decided to forgive her for mistakes she's made, and emphasize in my life and memories the good things she has given me, and us. She has been a really faithful person, despite her emotional challenges. She faced years of depression and anxiety, and yet, how many times has she told us "Listen to the spirit of the Lord." "Pray." I am so thankful for her testimony. She listened to me many times, she extended sympathy and assistance often. So many times she gave me positive feedback, probably far more times than the opposite. I remembered last night, as I covered up Lisa as she slept on our family room couch, so many times that Mom did the same thing for me, even as an adult.
Well, I don't want to lapse into the talk I'm giving on Saturday. But yes, she was not a perfect parent. Or grandparent. Sometimes she was judgmental. But bottom line, I really think she tried as hard as she could, so I choose to accept her as she was, forgive her mistakes, and love and appreciate all the good she did. She gave us SO much! I hope with all of my heart my children will apply this philosophy to me, to forgive me for my mistakes, to learn from what I've done wrong, and right. I'm sure my children will want the same from their children, and so on.
I miss her. And I'm looking forward to getting to know the person that is REALLY her, before the dementia, behind the depression. I think we will find a truly amazing person. I'm looking forward to that.
Good night, and see you later, Mom!
It's hard to lose your mom. I miss the person she used to be, and the kind person she was on many occasions even after descending into dementia.
We all know she had challenges being blunt and hurtful on occasion. I think it's possible that most of us have been hurt at times over the years. Sometimes I've harbored resentments over these hurts. But as I've really examined her life, and the positive things she's done, I've decided to forgive her for mistakes she's made, and emphasize in my life and memories the good things she has given me, and us. She has been a really faithful person, despite her emotional challenges. She faced years of depression and anxiety, and yet, how many times has she told us "Listen to the spirit of the Lord." "Pray." I am so thankful for her testimony. She listened to me many times, she extended sympathy and assistance often. So many times she gave me positive feedback, probably far more times than the opposite. I remembered last night, as I covered up Lisa as she slept on our family room couch, so many times that Mom did the same thing for me, even as an adult.
Well, I don't want to lapse into the talk I'm giving on Saturday. But yes, she was not a perfect parent. Or grandparent. Sometimes she was judgmental. But bottom line, I really think she tried as hard as she could, so I choose to accept her as she was, forgive her mistakes, and love and appreciate all the good she did. She gave us SO much! I hope with all of my heart my children will apply this philosophy to me, to forgive me for my mistakes, to learn from what I've done wrong, and right. I'm sure my children will want the same from their children, and so on.
I miss her. And I'm looking forward to getting to know the person that is REALLY her, before the dementia, behind the depression. I think we will find a truly amazing person. I'm looking forward to that.
Good night, and see you later, Mom!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Grandma Wyler passed away today
Grandma Wyler passed away today, Tuesday September 8th, 2009 at about 6:17 p.m. Karen, Dale, Mark, Margie, Noel and her husband Aaron, and I were all with her at the time. Her breathing had returned to normal until just after Dale and Margie showed up. We were singing hymns together, and when we return to the room Grandma was in, Karen noticed her pulse had slowed considerably. We all sat around her and sung "I Am a Child of God." Within minutes Grandma was only taking a breath every thirty seconds or so, and soon Margie could no longer find a heartbeat. It was a very peaceful passing, and there was a peaceful spirit in the room. My dad Mark said a nice prayer following her passing. The funeral arrangements are being made for this Saturday, August 12th. Also, we are hoping all the immediate grandchildren of Grandma Wyler will be able to sing "Come Thou Fount." More funeral arrangements will be posted online when availabe. Ken is now here, and Rich and Chase will be coming this evening. We are all glad that she has returned to her Heavenly Father and to Grandpa Wyler!
--Lisa
--Lisa
Tuesday noon
Another update, though there isn't much to say, because not much has changed. Her breathing patterns is a little interrupted at times by slight lapses. The LPN from hospice came not long ago and believes it could be a couple more days. No one knows for sure. Meanwhile, keep Saturday open if you can, but if she doesn't pass away by tomorrow the funeral will probably be next week.
I am hoping we'll get some Wyler grandkids (at least granddaughters) will be able to sing a song, I'm thinking Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, a favorite of most people. Other thoughts?
I am hoping we'll get some Wyler grandkids (at least granddaughters) will be able to sing a song, I'm thinking Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, a favorite of most people. Other thoughts?
Monday, September 7, 2009
Brian's post
Just want to let you know I'm watching this page for updates.You mentioned about posting memories. I remember on many occasions staying over at Grandma's house and playing games with her and siblings and/or cousins, like Rummikub -- that was one of our favorites. She was a mean Rummikub player. Rummikubist? Rummikuber? If memory serves correctly, she was pretty competitive! Those were fun times.
Just to add a note to Anna's post; we are trying to give her liquid morphine before she gets moved, which helps her pain.
Carolyn is here; Rich will be here tomorrow night, with Chase. That will be good.
It's been nice to have company today; since her death seems more imminent, and less of a question, I'm adjusting a little more to the idea. But I think we all have moments of sadness too.
-Karen
Carolyn is here; Rich will be here tomorrow night, with Chase. That will be good.
It's been nice to have company today; since her death seems more imminent, and less of a question, I'm adjusting a little more to the idea. But I think we all have moments of sadness too.
-Karen
Mom (Karen) just gave Grandma some morphine so we could turn her a little. We are trying to prevent bedsores as much as we can but she cries out in some pain when we attempt to roll her even a tiny bit. That is really the only response we get from her at this point. This time, as we tried to put another pillow under her she began to seizure again. It lasted a little while. We comforted her the best we could. I don't think she is aware of the seizures of course, and to me, she does not appear to be in any pain.
She is in the den off the main living area which is open to the house. We have taken turns sitting near her so she isn't alone- though I am not sure she knows there is someone there but it helps us to feel better since a few weeks ago when she was more cognizant she did say she was afraid to die alone. So we are trying our best to prevent that. I think Mom said that she and Dad (Mark) slept down by her last night. So she has her own room but we are just sitting with her, talking to her and caring for her the best we can. She is sleeping peacefully right now, but she doesn't quite look the same. Naturally she is very thin as she hasn't eaten or had anything to drink in a little while. Her body simply doesn't need it as it has slowed down readying for death.
I think Carolyn will be here soon and I hear that Rich will be coming out tomorrow.
She is in the den off the main living area which is open to the house. We have taken turns sitting near her so she isn't alone- though I am not sure she knows there is someone there but it helps us to feel better since a few weeks ago when she was more cognizant she did say she was afraid to die alone. So we are trying our best to prevent that. I think Mom said that she and Dad (Mark) slept down by her last night. So she has her own room but we are just sitting with her, talking to her and caring for her the best we can. She is sleeping peacefully right now, but she doesn't quite look the same. Naturally she is very thin as she hasn't eaten or had anything to drink in a little while. Her body simply doesn't need it as it has slowed down readying for death.
I think Carolyn will be here soon and I hear that Rich will be coming out tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
