Got home two hours ago from the 12 hour trip to Provo for the funeral. Another emotional day. The service was wonderful; Ken gave a beautiful tribute to Mom and a very nice life sketch. He's an excellent speaker. Then two nieces, Janelle and Kadee, sang a nice song, "I walked today where Jesus walked," I spoke for about 10 minutes on things my mother has taught me; the granddaughters (nearly all of them) sang, "Come Thou Fount," a very sweet song and they did a beautiful job; then Grant gave a talk about the atonement and how the SAvior makes it possible to return to Him and to be together as a family. Carolyn had put together a slide slow of mom's life, to music, which was very nice and people really enjoyed viewing that before the funeral started.
We had a lot of family there, all Mom and Dad's kids; their spouses, and nearly all the Utah grandkids were there, along with mom's sister, brother, and a sister-in-law; and friends also. The room was filled with people she had touched in some way or other.
It was again, a beautiful ceremony, yet so sad too. I'm glad I have no doubt there is life after this and I know I'll see my parents and family members again. That adds so much peace.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Thoughts
It's been two days now, what a whirlwind of activities and emotions. I really don't know if anyone is still reading this, but I'd thought I'd share a few feelings and thoughts.
It's hard to lose your mom. I miss the person she used to be, and the kind person she was on many occasions even after descending into dementia.
We all know she had challenges being blunt and hurtful on occasion. I think it's possible that most of us have been hurt at times over the years. Sometimes I've harbored resentments over these hurts. But as I've really examined her life, and the positive things she's done, I've decided to forgive her for mistakes she's made, and emphasize in my life and memories the good things she has given me, and us. She has been a really faithful person, despite her emotional challenges. She faced years of depression and anxiety, and yet, how many times has she told us "Listen to the spirit of the Lord." "Pray." I am so thankful for her testimony. She listened to me many times, she extended sympathy and assistance often. So many times she gave me positive feedback, probably far more times than the opposite. I remembered last night, as I covered up Lisa as she slept on our family room couch, so many times that Mom did the same thing for me, even as an adult.
Well, I don't want to lapse into the talk I'm giving on Saturday. But yes, she was not a perfect parent. Or grandparent. Sometimes she was judgmental. But bottom line, I really think she tried as hard as she could, so I choose to accept her as she was, forgive her mistakes, and love and appreciate all the good she did. She gave us SO much! I hope with all of my heart my children will apply this philosophy to me, to forgive me for my mistakes, to learn from what I've done wrong, and right. I'm sure my children will want the same from their children, and so on.
I miss her. And I'm looking forward to getting to know the person that is REALLY her, before the dementia, behind the depression. I think we will find a truly amazing person. I'm looking forward to that.
Good night, and see you later, Mom!
It's hard to lose your mom. I miss the person she used to be, and the kind person she was on many occasions even after descending into dementia.
We all know she had challenges being blunt and hurtful on occasion. I think it's possible that most of us have been hurt at times over the years. Sometimes I've harbored resentments over these hurts. But as I've really examined her life, and the positive things she's done, I've decided to forgive her for mistakes she's made, and emphasize in my life and memories the good things she has given me, and us. She has been a really faithful person, despite her emotional challenges. She faced years of depression and anxiety, and yet, how many times has she told us "Listen to the spirit of the Lord." "Pray." I am so thankful for her testimony. She listened to me many times, she extended sympathy and assistance often. So many times she gave me positive feedback, probably far more times than the opposite. I remembered last night, as I covered up Lisa as she slept on our family room couch, so many times that Mom did the same thing for me, even as an adult.
Well, I don't want to lapse into the talk I'm giving on Saturday. But yes, she was not a perfect parent. Or grandparent. Sometimes she was judgmental. But bottom line, I really think she tried as hard as she could, so I choose to accept her as she was, forgive her mistakes, and love and appreciate all the good she did. She gave us SO much! I hope with all of my heart my children will apply this philosophy to me, to forgive me for my mistakes, to learn from what I've done wrong, and right. I'm sure my children will want the same from their children, and so on.
I miss her. And I'm looking forward to getting to know the person that is REALLY her, before the dementia, behind the depression. I think we will find a truly amazing person. I'm looking forward to that.
Good night, and see you later, Mom!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Grandma Wyler passed away today
Grandma Wyler passed away today, Tuesday September 8th, 2009 at about 6:17 p.m. Karen, Dale, Mark, Margie, Noel and her husband Aaron, and I were all with her at the time. Her breathing had returned to normal until just after Dale and Margie showed up. We were singing hymns together, and when we return to the room Grandma was in, Karen noticed her pulse had slowed considerably. We all sat around her and sung "I Am a Child of God." Within minutes Grandma was only taking a breath every thirty seconds or so, and soon Margie could no longer find a heartbeat. It was a very peaceful passing, and there was a peaceful spirit in the room. My dad Mark said a nice prayer following her passing. The funeral arrangements are being made for this Saturday, August 12th. Also, we are hoping all the immediate grandchildren of Grandma Wyler will be able to sing "Come Thou Fount." More funeral arrangements will be posted online when availabe. Ken is now here, and Rich and Chase will be coming this evening. We are all glad that she has returned to her Heavenly Father and to Grandpa Wyler!
--Lisa
--Lisa
Tuesday noon
Another update, though there isn't much to say, because not much has changed. Her breathing patterns is a little interrupted at times by slight lapses. The LPN from hospice came not long ago and believes it could be a couple more days. No one knows for sure. Meanwhile, keep Saturday open if you can, but if she doesn't pass away by tomorrow the funeral will probably be next week.
I am hoping we'll get some Wyler grandkids (at least granddaughters) will be able to sing a song, I'm thinking Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, a favorite of most people. Other thoughts?
I am hoping we'll get some Wyler grandkids (at least granddaughters) will be able to sing a song, I'm thinking Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, a favorite of most people. Other thoughts?
Monday, September 7, 2009
Brian's post
Just want to let you know I'm watching this page for updates.You mentioned about posting memories. I remember on many occasions staying over at Grandma's house and playing games with her and siblings and/or cousins, like Rummikub -- that was one of our favorites. She was a mean Rummikub player. Rummikubist? Rummikuber? If memory serves correctly, she was pretty competitive! Those were fun times.
Just to add a note to Anna's post; we are trying to give her liquid morphine before she gets moved, which helps her pain.
Carolyn is here; Rich will be here tomorrow night, with Chase. That will be good.
It's been nice to have company today; since her death seems more imminent, and less of a question, I'm adjusting a little more to the idea. But I think we all have moments of sadness too.
-Karen
Carolyn is here; Rich will be here tomorrow night, with Chase. That will be good.
It's been nice to have company today; since her death seems more imminent, and less of a question, I'm adjusting a little more to the idea. But I think we all have moments of sadness too.
-Karen
Mom (Karen) just gave Grandma some morphine so we could turn her a little. We are trying to prevent bedsores as much as we can but she cries out in some pain when we attempt to roll her even a tiny bit. That is really the only response we get from her at this point. This time, as we tried to put another pillow under her she began to seizure again. It lasted a little while. We comforted her the best we could. I don't think she is aware of the seizures of course, and to me, she does not appear to be in any pain.
She is in the den off the main living area which is open to the house. We have taken turns sitting near her so she isn't alone- though I am not sure she knows there is someone there but it helps us to feel better since a few weeks ago when she was more cognizant she did say she was afraid to die alone. So we are trying our best to prevent that. I think Mom said that she and Dad (Mark) slept down by her last night. So she has her own room but we are just sitting with her, talking to her and caring for her the best we can. She is sleeping peacefully right now, but she doesn't quite look the same. Naturally she is very thin as she hasn't eaten or had anything to drink in a little while. Her body simply doesn't need it as it has slowed down readying for death.
I think Carolyn will be here soon and I hear that Rich will be coming out tomorrow.
She is in the den off the main living area which is open to the house. We have taken turns sitting near her so she isn't alone- though I am not sure she knows there is someone there but it helps us to feel better since a few weeks ago when she was more cognizant she did say she was afraid to die alone. So we are trying our best to prevent that. I think Mom said that she and Dad (Mark) slept down by her last night. So she has her own room but we are just sitting with her, talking to her and caring for her the best we can. She is sleeping peacefully right now, but she doesn't quite look the same. Naturally she is very thin as she hasn't eaten or had anything to drink in a little while. Her body simply doesn't need it as it has slowed down readying for death.
I think Carolyn will be here soon and I hear that Rich will be coming out tomorrow.
Anna says, " I am moving some of the comments to the main page so we make sure everyone reads them. Be sure to read the comments section for everyones comments though. If you would like to be an author on the page leave an email address or send Karen an email and I will add you. Thanks!"
I just talked to my dad and Karen about how Grandma is doing. Of course some of you have a medical background, I will try to write this for those with and without this background.For the last week Grandma has not been drinking very much and also has made very little urine. This, along with the way she is breathing(cheynne stokes) that Karen described to me suggests that her kidneys are shutting down (Acute renal failure). This is one of the most common ways people with dementia pass away and is one of the most comfortable.
What happens is some of the toxins the kidneys normally clear from the body build up (uremia, metabolic acidosis, hyperkalemia). This could explain her apparent seizure, and it also makes a person more sleepy and harder to awaken. When a person does pass away from this it is though they pass away in their sleep. Karen will watch for any signs of discomfort, but they usually have very little. These substances build up in their blood making them more and more sleepy until finally they pass.Again, I can't be sure this is correct without being there, but if this is correct I don't think it is likely that she will wake up again and will likely pass in the next day or two.
She will be in our thoughts and prayers along with the rest of you.David Wyler
September 6, 2009 5:07 PM
I just talked to my dad and Karen about how Grandma is doing. Of course some of you have a medical background, I will try to write this for those with and without this background.For the last week Grandma has not been drinking very much and also has made very little urine. This, along with the way she is breathing(cheynne stokes) that Karen described to me suggests that her kidneys are shutting down (Acute renal failure). This is one of the most common ways people with dementia pass away and is one of the most comfortable.
What happens is some of the toxins the kidneys normally clear from the body build up (uremia, metabolic acidosis, hyperkalemia). This could explain her apparent seizure, and it also makes a person more sleepy and harder to awaken. When a person does pass away from this it is though they pass away in their sleep. Karen will watch for any signs of discomfort, but they usually have very little. These substances build up in their blood making them more and more sleepy until finally they pass.Again, I can't be sure this is correct without being there, but if this is correct I don't think it is likely that she will wake up again and will likely pass in the next day or two.
She will be in our thoughts and prayers along with the rest of you.David Wyler
September 6, 2009 5:07 PM
"Thanks you Anna and Karen for creating this blog. It looks very good. This past week, I have been working on some ideas for mother's service. While Karen and I are scheduled to meet at Berg Mortuary in Provo next Saturday to make some funeral prearrangements, circumstances may require us to move up that meeting. "
-Ken
-Ken
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Hi all,
Just to update you tonight. Mom hasn't really roused for more than a few minutes today. I did manage to get her eat a yogurt and take medicine, but only once. Mark gave her a blessing tonight that said her time was "very short," and that she didn't need to be afraid to go and she had loved ones waiting for her on the other side. So unless something changes, it will probably be hours to a couple of days at the most.
It's really hard in many ways to see her like this. She doesn't appear to be in pain right however. David Wyler says that if her condition is kidney, or renal failure, that it's a fairly peaceful death. So that's good. Please pray for us all, though. I didn't know if I'd be sad about her going, because she has, in many ways, been gone for a long time. But it's still sad. I have many good memories of ways she has impacted my life.
Enough of that. Hope some of you are reading this. Please post any kind of comment so we know if anyone is reading this, if you don't mind. Thanks!
Love Karen
Just to update you tonight. Mom hasn't really roused for more than a few minutes today. I did manage to get her eat a yogurt and take medicine, but only once. Mark gave her a blessing tonight that said her time was "very short," and that she didn't need to be afraid to go and she had loved ones waiting for her on the other side. So unless something changes, it will probably be hours to a couple of days at the most.
It's really hard in many ways to see her like this. She doesn't appear to be in pain right however. David Wyler says that if her condition is kidney, or renal failure, that it's a fairly peaceful death. So that's good. Please pray for us all, though. I didn't know if I'd be sad about her going, because she has, in many ways, been gone for a long time. But it's still sad. I have many good memories of ways she has impacted my life.
Enough of that. Hope some of you are reading this. Please post any kind of comment so we know if anyone is reading this, if you don't mind. Thanks!
Love Karen
Probably most of you know that Grandma will be staying at my home (Karen) most likely until she passes away. As Ken and Lenora noticed before this, her condition has rapidly deteriorated over the last few months. When she came to us a month ago, she could walk, feed herself, go to the bathroom on her own. This last week she has declined even more as she can't go to the bathroom on her own, can't feed herself and sleeps most of the day and doesn't really have any appetite. She doesn't recognize us or give signs of recognition. If she speaks she pretty much mumbles incoherently.
This morning she had a seizure. She hasn't roused since then and it has been five or six hours. It's possible she doesn't have much time left- or she could wake up and want something to eat or drink and go on a little longer. Anyone who feels like they would like to stop by and say goodbye is welcome to stop in. Others may prefer to remember her how she was before, which is fine too.
Ken and I will post current funeral ideas/arrangements. I'd really like all the Grandkids to sing a song at the funeral-but we will keep you posted. On Saturday, if nothing changes, Ken, Lenora and I will be going to Berg Mortuary to pick out a casket. All Grandma's children and their spouses are invited at Noon.
Though this is a sad time, I am grateful to know that when she does pass away it won't be the last time we will see her. I'm sure it will be a relief to her as well, and Grandpa Wyler will be happy to be together with his sweetheart once again.
This morning she had a seizure. She hasn't roused since then and it has been five or six hours. It's possible she doesn't have much time left- or she could wake up and want something to eat or drink and go on a little longer. Anyone who feels like they would like to stop by and say goodbye is welcome to stop in. Others may prefer to remember her how she was before, which is fine too.
Ken and I will post current funeral ideas/arrangements. I'd really like all the Grandkids to sing a song at the funeral-but we will keep you posted. On Saturday, if nothing changes, Ken, Lenora and I will be going to Berg Mortuary to pick out a casket. All Grandma's children and their spouses are invited at Noon.
Though this is a sad time, I am grateful to know that when she does pass away it won't be the last time we will see her. I'm sure it will be a relief to her as well, and Grandpa Wyler will be happy to be together with his sweetheart once again.
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